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Waves
October 25, 2025
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I suppose it happens for everyone...
That... when we arrive at the end of our days...
We naturally fall upon... old memories...
And we fall upon... our wonderful times...
How precious... are our happy memories to us now...
And we fall upon... our... regrets.
I faced... one of those... old regrets.
It stung hard... and could have floored me...
Seeming much more important now...
Than it had... at the time...
And... it rolled over me like a huge wave...
And... had I been standing on the edge of a seashore
... might have unsteadied my feet.
I let it roll... right on... over me.
Regrets... don't unsteady me now.
I've stopped fighting against them...
Stopped analyzing them...
Stopped checking what exactly was said...
Or who... did... what...
Stopped imagining... if I had done differently...
how the world around me might have changed...
or even... how to express my regrets... now...
to another person... or two...
when those times are long passed and forgotten.
Waves have hit me... all my life...
And I had nothing to grip...
when fate or mistake over-powered my innocent skills...
and it plowed my whole life down.
Waves... just kept coming...
as far back as I can remember...
and... I could never free myself.
I must have thought of thousands of ways...
but... my feet couldn't run fast enough
from a terrible cycle of poverty.
I'm done.
I've done my duty.
I will honor my father and mother
and I will withstand any regrets...
as there was no other answer for me.
I couldn't... ever... live in suburbia.
I couldn't... ever... seek a career in some corporation
where cubicles and walls envelope one like a prison.
I wanted to raise kids and animals on a little farm...
I wanted to leave my windows opened at night
to let the cool air wash over me in my sleep.
I wanted my kids to run in the fields and pick wildflowers.
I wanted... a place... to write.
It just... never... happened.
How does a very prim and proper girl...
who loved the whole world...
who found magic in the simplest things around her...
who was determined... to live her life...
when the world was falling down around her...
How does she find her way in rocky, rocky seas...?
She rides the waves.
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